Top 10 reasons your high school ex thinks you should become a NAC member

Top 10 reasons your high school ex thinks you should become a NAC member

10) I’ve been a NAC member a lot of times. Like 50 times. I was a NAC member just yesterday.

9) You want to become a NAC member? Yeah, I guess. Whatever.

8) I wrote this song for you: “One day last November, I realized my love was like an ember, and while it will soon be December, like hot candle wax, one touch and my NAC membership is now ready to be renewed.”

7) You should become a member because the backseat of your mom’s minivan smells like menthol cigarettes and is there like, anywhere else we could go?

6) We are both going away to university, and because I care about you and your full potential, I just want to make sure you are free to explore new artist-run centre opportunities.

5) Now that I am nearing the end of my freshman year, I am extremely happy with the way things are going, and I am very well-liked and fashionable. I hear you have purchased a NAC membership and go there often. Can you confirm if this is true?

4) I know you are “very satisfied” with your use of the Dennis Tourbin Members Gallery, exhibition and project space, but did you know NAC memberships are fully refundable if you’re not completely satisfied for any reason? I know that. Do you?

3) I made a horrible mistake. You’ve really integrated into your local art scene and blossomed as a human. I see that now. When you renew your membership, can you get me one too?

2) Heeey. You should become a mega-member because you’ve been ignoring my Facebook requests for over a year and NAC Supporters are googleable.

1) OH HI! I just happened upon your job update on Linkedin from a few years back. Congrats! I’m really into not-for-profit art organization models that do not charge admission fees, and just wanted to say ‘Buongiorno, Bella!’

Top Ten TOM WAITS Reasons to Renew or Sign on TODAY!

Top Ten TOM WAITS
Reasons to Renew or Sign on TODAY!

10) I was walking down Sycamore Street early one Sunday morning and I came across an alligator…

9) …now this alligator, he was wearing pants…

8) …I said “hey Allie”, you know, because I thought that must be his name…

7) …I mean, he’s an alligator afterall…

6) …and he was wearing pants…

5)…so I sez, “Hey, Allie Pants,” what are you doing out here on this fine Sunday morning on Sycamore Street…

4) …and he looked at me, all quizzical like…

3) …and he walked up closer, wadding kind of, you know, but uncomfortably and slowly, because he was wearing these red pants…

2) …and he walked up to me, opened his big mouth, looked me straight in the eye and hisssssed with a lisp, a deep alligator hiss:

1) …”Tom, this ain’t Sycamore, it’s Saint Paul, and I’m going to get my NAC membership!!”

G E T  I N !

 

Top Ten Surrealist Reasons to Sign on or Renew Today

Top Ten Surrealist Reasons
to Join NAC or Renew your membership today!
>> SIGN ON HERE!

10) An airborne jello salad yields easily to the clown’s frantic machete

9) et dans ce cloche magnifique
que les mouches sortir la reine de feu
que l’origine enfeuillante enfantile enchanté
que les épaules vertes souffrir encore deux fois

8) An aged butler is standing alone on an ice-floe in the Arctic sea, dutifully holding a dead squirrel on a silver tray

7) Un nuage

6) Circus cannons are shooting overripe melons at a blank film screen

5) The mirror sort du matélas between fissured teeth et que les hiboux marchent

4) The unwanted fondue cookbooks at local yard-sales actually contain valuable tips for fending off a tornado with a rolling pin

3) The polarizing external traits of antennas lift you up to the edge of the previously inaccessible locks containing your dreams

2) Because you’d play outside more often if the potholes in your driveway weren’t brimming with blue barbicide;

1) A talon


June is membership month at your friendly neighbourhood artist-run centre! We concentrate our appeal for membership renewals, and for new members to join, for the whole month of June.

HOW CAN YOU RENEW?

  • Online here
  • In person at NAC: Wed – Fri 12NN-5PM or Sat 12NN-4PM
  • Give us a call at 905-641-0331
  • Or by mail – who doesn’t like getting mail?
    354 St. Paul Street
    St. Catharines, ON  L2R 3N2

An annual membership starts at a measly $45 includes HST. You could float this thing on a back porch bottle drive!

Top Ten SPAM Reasons to Become a NAC Member Today

Top Ten SPAM Reasons to Become a NAC Member Today

10) Become a NAC Arts Supporter or Benefactor Member Today and Grow Five Inches!

9) A series of meeting have been held over the past seven month with the Secretary General of the United Nation Organization. This ended three day ago. It is obvious that you have not renewed your NAC membership. A deposit to the tune of $850,000 is owed to you due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the Fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your Fund all in an attempt to swindle your Fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your Fund. Renew your NAC membership today to receive your Fund.

8) Open the door to relaxation. Entering our walk-in tubs are as easy as opening a door and stepping in. Reduce injuries with the ease of NAC membership.

7) Join NAC and find Swiss Replica Watches, Vuitton Bags, Jewelry, Phones, Shoes – Unbelievable Pricing! Watch shows your status! Girls love cool watch!

6) Forget exercises or other techniques, joining is the only thing that will really increase NAC Member size.

5) We lay aside letters never to read them again, and at last we destroy them out of discretion, and so disappears the most beautiful, the most immediate opportunity to join NAC.

4) I am Mr. Gerald Aherne, the Managing Director of Henderson Global Investors Limited, London, the World Largest Fund Management Company with over GBP 1.2 Trillion Capital Investment Fund. Nevertheless, as Finance Director of our firm, I handle all our Investor’s Direct Capital Funds and secretly extracts 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP) per annual on each of the Investor’s Marginal Capital Fund. As an expert in Finance Control, I hereby am looking for a NAC Member in good standing to trust who will stand as an Investor to receive this profit.

3) Cialis 20mg x 90 Pills $155 + NAC Membership + Fast Shipping = 100% SATISFACTION! We accept VISA & Mastercard, Check, 90000 Satisfied US, UK, Customers!

2) Join NAC today and we guarantee you will never receive SPAM again!

1) Join the all new V*I*A*G*R*A – A*R*T*I*S*T*S – C*E*N*T*R*E today!

Top Ten PINTEREST Reasons to renew your membership today!

Top 10 reasons your Pinterest Board [that hates you]
wants you to become a NAC member

10) NAC memberships expire, like your bathmat woven from discount wine cork-composite™ glued end-to-end.
 
9) NAC memberships offer never-ending possibilities like the self-improvement posts you keep pinning during your Thursday cry.
 
8) NAC memberships offer no bad surprises, unlike the gender reveal party ideas you never asked for but I send you email alerts for anyway.

7) You’ve already pinned that picture of a baby goat. Whatever, don’t listen to me. Here, try this: the ins and outs of how to put a toddler inside a pumpkin and photograph it screeching like a bird of prey for a solid 40 mins. Hack: Buy a NAC membership and gain access to equipment to make this happen.
 
6) Your rustic pallet farmhouse dining platform with bonus Jeremy Irons would look great with a NAC membership on it if you could actually follow directions.
 
5) Unlike your NAC membership, this link for distressed recycled wood has a $500 price tag that is making you question your life choices, and CLICK HERE for 10 other ways you are positively impacting a man named “Hillside Bill” with your harmful social media activity.
 
4) Want to buy a NAC membership, but don’t know how to buy a NAC membership? Order a NAC membership from NAC, and other Pinterest lifehacks by clicking on this misleading hyperlink: https://nac.org/join-renew-your-membership/
 
3) This year’s membership comes in Pantone Color of the Year Ultra Violet so it will fit your personal brand’s narrative strategy as well as your “ideas 4 my future house” board aesthetic. Maybe put the same amount of effort into your bank account, Ashlee.
 
2) That Betty Crocker train cake looks more like you evacuated your bowels on a plate. You can’t bring that to a children’s party, Ashlee. Get a NAC membership and maybe find some artistic talent!
 
1) Want a simple hack for getting a NAC membership and supporting a great organization without having to pay for it? Pin this for later then click on this link to see a monkey riding on a hotdog. There! Look at you! You’ve totally forgotten that Tim just broke up with you and you are two days deep into a life spiral. Progress. Thanks, NAC!

G E T  I N !

Top Ten AMERICAN FOLKLORE Reasons to Renew or Sign on a New Member

TOP TEN AMERICAN FOLKLORE
REASONS TO RENEW YOUR NAC MEMBERSHIP
[OR SIGN ON A NEW MEMBER!]

10) If loggers in the American Frontier with fragile masculinity need to invent a giant and an ox as symbols of American vitality and machismo, then the least you can do is cushion environmentally irresponsible men by supporting politically challenging artwork.
 
9) Many sighters in the Pacific Northwest describe the Sasquatch as having a dome-shaped skull and protruding eyebrow ridge. More fearfully, those same sighters describe NAC members as, “playing on our primal fears of prehistoric art-sector survivors.” A NAC membership should vastly increase population rates, according to W. Greenwald of The Wyoming Department of Health. 
 
8) A taxidermy American jackalope, caught in 1932 during a hunting trip involving Franklin D. Roosevelt, is visible for members only at the press of a button in the accessible washroom at NAC.
 
7) Davy Crockett, “King of the Wild Frontier,” lives in the last wild frontier—NAC’s basement. This is a historical fact verified in Crockett’s larger-than-life exploits popularized by several stage plays and almanacs. Don’t believe it? Buy a membership. 
 
6) The veracity of your NAC membership is not a determining factor for NAC lore, but it pays for NAC’s water bill.
 
5) We Shall Overcome, a spoken word folk album by American folk hero Bernie Sanders was recorded and released in 1987. “The world in which we live in today//is an extremely depressing place//it’s hard to deny that” chirps one poetic stanza — a favourite among the several that NAC members are required to recite daily! 
 
4) Like frontier America, NAC’s origin is often surrounded by legends and tall tales. Many stories have become part of our cultural awareness. These narratives may be true and may be false or may be a little true and a little false. Absolutely real though: Natasha’s heart grows six sizes every time you buy a membership. Her community adores this idiosyncrasy. Her cardiologist does not.  
 
3) The man known as Johnny Appleseed was a magical scatterer of apple seeds from sea to shining sea until NAC members called “Times Up.” NAC members make shit happen. 
 
2) The primary source of funding for artist-run centres is revenue from Johnny Appleseed pie sales. NAC members are in deep conflict about if they can enjoy a pie still. Contradiction is exciting for the psyche. Buy a membership!
 
1) On her deathbed, Annie Oakley “The Peerless Lady Wing-shot Little Sure Shot of the Wild West” was documented to breathlessly utter, “I regret that not buying a NAC membership interfered with my ability to have peers!” Half a second later Oakley hurled her departing soul off a crape-covered Victorian mirror, ricocheting it against the bedpost, through Aunt Lydia’s Bell sleeve and out a nearby open window. Aunt Lydia succumbed to her injuries on horseback six hours later. Everyone was impressed.

Top Ten FILM NOIR Reasons to Renew or Join Today!

Top Ten FILM NOIR
Reasons to Renew or Join Today!

>> Renew HERE

10) Do you know that the world is a foul sty? Do you know that if you ripped the fronts off houses you’d find swine? The world is a hell. What does it matter what happens in it as long as you’re a NAC member.

9) Face to face with a painting we shuffle our feet and apologize. We say ‘I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like.’ Well, why apologize? If knowing what you like is a good enough for picking out a wife or a husband, a pair of shoes or a new hat, what’s wrong with the same rules for art? That’s why you ought to join NAC, of all the gallery joints, they get that.

8) Almost everything is addition or subtraction. Everything else is just time killing conversation. How about you fork some cake over to NAC for a membership and we can stop flapping our lips about it.

7) For me it was cheap hotels, cheap restaurants, and cheap friends. That all changed when I signed on with the NAC outfit. I wouldn’t say it was a step up, or even a step in the right direction, but it made me move my feet.

6) Money. You know what that is? It’s the stuff you never have enough of. Little germ covered pieces of paper that people slave for, commit crimes for, die for. It’s the stuff that’s caused more trouble in the world than anything else. Do yourself a favour, kid, unload what you can of it on NAC and save yourself some heartache.

5) A gun or a knife, a nightstick or a razor, something the other guy ain’t got. Yeh, a little extra reach on a punch; a set of brass knuckles; a stripe on a sleeve; a badge that says cop. A nice sized rock in your hand. A big bankroll in your breast pocket.  A NAC membership card on our hip. That’s an edge pal. Without an edge you don’t want to be playing the game.

4) I want you to do something. I want you to get yourself out of bed, get down to NAC, walk right in there and renew your membership. Otherwise, you only got another day to live.

3) On a rainy night, the kinda night where you don’t know your friends but strangers look familiar, on a night like that, the smartest thing to do is renew your NAC membership.

2) With this NAC membership I can get away from you. From you and your chickens and your pies and your kitchens and everything that smells of grease. I can get away from this shack with its cheap furniture. And this town and its dollar days, and its women that wear uniforms and its men that wear overalls. Or maybe not. But I’ll at least know in my heart that I’m somebody, I’m a NAC member.

1) The gates only open three times: When you come in, when you’ve served your time, and when you become a NAC member.

NAC Member of the Moment: Tamara Jensen

It’s membership month at the Niagara Artists Centre! In our NAC Member of the Moment series, we ask NAC members about art in Niagara and the number one reason to join the NAC. Artist and NAC board member Tamara Jensen tells us why she got involved with NAC and about some memorable NAC experiences.  

Tamara is a practicing visual artist and entrepreneur in St. Catharines, Ontario. Co-founder of pioneering gourmet food truck El Gastronomo Vagabundo, Tamara was an early adopter of mobile marketing tools and has become a leader in digital marketing strategy. Driven by a passion to help Niagara’s entrepreneurs succeed, Tamara is a Digital Strategist with Form & Affect, where she helps local and global brands gain traction through advanced digital media strategies. Tamara is a volunteer small business mentor with Futurpreneur Canada, and a Starter Company mentor with the St. Catharines Enterprise Centre. The painting studio above her garage is underused, but makes for a pretty nice place to nap.

When did you become a NAC member and why?
I signed up at Small Feats in 2015 because I wanted to be a part of the show in 2016. I had put my art practice on the back burner while starting up a business with my husband, so I thought it would be a good reason to dust off my paint brushes.

Are you an artist, an art appreciator or both?
Both.

What’s the best thing about being an artist in Niagara?
The art community here is very welcoming and inclusive; from students to dabblers to professionals, I’ve found the Niagara art scene to be humble and supportive.

Name a Niagara artist whose work knocks your socks off.
I want to be Mel MacDonald when I grow up.

Tell us about a memorable NAC experience.
So many! All of the Strutt / Voix de Ville performances; a fire-swallowing magician entertaining guests at a NAC fundraiser at Kwong Chow; the mad rush of Small Feats VIP previews….

What’s the number one reason to become a NAC member?
You get the inside scoop on all of the amazing events, shows, and exhibits that are going on in Niagara, all while supporting one of the oldest artist-run centres in Canada!

Sign up for your very own NAC membership online or stop by NAC at 354 St. Paul Street in St. Catharines during gallery hours to get your membership in person.

JOINNACNOW

NAC Member of the Moment: Geoff Farnsworth

June is Membership Month at the Niagara Artists Centre, which means there’s no better time to sign up or renew your membership. In this Q&A, one of NAC’s newest board members, Geoff Farnsworth, talks about how he became a NAC Member, who’s work inspires him, and the good vibes around the region.

When did you become a NAC member and why?
I became a NAC member when I moved to downtown St. Catharines three years ago. I was drawn here for the growing art scene and wanted to take the opportunity to become a part of a NAC initiated group studio. You had to become a NAC member to do so, so I was forced into it!  🙂  But loving the community and all of the events at and around the NAC lately, so allll gooood!  😉

Are you an artist, an art appreciator or both?
I’m an artist, art appreciator, art addict, art educator, art pusher, all of it, yep.

What’s the best thing about being an artist in Niagara?
There’s a growing scene in Niagara that’s been great to be a part of for the 8 or 9 years I’ve been here.  It’s small enough to really feel a part of a cohesive and sharing community. I started off in the Falls and relocated to downtown St K 3 years ago, and so am really feeling the vibe of the collaboration in the whole region. And it’s great to be so close to both Toronto and Buffalo. 

Name a Niagara artist whose work knocks your socks off.
There are lots of artists in the region who inspire and excite me, both in their work and approach to making it. One of the ones I most relate to in philosophy, aesthetic, and process is William Griffiths who’s exhibition of new work at opened at this past weekend.

Tell us about a memorable NAC experience.
There have been a lot of memorable NAC experiences for me with showing my own work both solo and in a group setting, seeing the work of both artists I’m familiar with and new surprises, and great music events. The last couple of Small Feats shows have been a blast especially.

What’s the number one reason to become a NAC member?
Becoming a NAC member really plugs you into this art scene that has really taken off in downtown St. Catharines and the rest of the region. NAC’s really helping to showcase so much of it and drive it forth. There’s such a strong unity and collaboration between the NAC and the rest of the scene too, that being a NAC member really has one beccome more involved in a full sense beyond just on St. Paul in downtown St. Catharines. And so many more exciting projects are brewing riiiiight nowww!

NAC’s Member of the Moment is Chris Illich!

June is Membership Month at the Niagara Artists Centre, which means there’s no better time to sign up or renew your membership. In this Q&A, NAC’s Volunteer-of-the-Year and editor of The Sound Chris Illich talks about all the artists who inspire him, why being a part of Niagara’s art community is so great, and that time he got to ring the bell at Small Feats. Pick up your anniversary copy of The Sound today to get to hip to what’s what around town this month.

When did you become a NAC member and why?

I became a NAC member about five years ago because my honourary membership that Steve Remus said I had from high-school co-oping ran out. I’m glad it did. I wanted to support all the wonderful programming that the NAC provides.

Are you an artist, an art appreciator or both?

I think there’s a lot of ‘art’ in the things that I do and participate in, but I would never consider myself an artist. So, I guess I’m somewhere between an artist and an appreciator.

What’s the best thing about being an artist in Niagara?

The immense amount of talent that we have in the region really stands out. I’ve seen so many exhibitions/performances that have been absolutely captivating. It’s in those moments that you realize how special we are to live in such an artistic community.

Name a Niagara artist whose work knocks your socks off.

There are so many to name. I love the sensation of seeing a friend/peer/acquaintance’s beautiful work. Geoff Farnsworth’s work has such great style. Amber Lee William’s Blind Contour drawings are amazing to witness, and I also love Dylan Zdrobov’s Runt-inspired cartoons. I could go on and on… So I’ll stop here.

Tell us about a memorable NAC experience.

Again, there are just too many to name. But, most recently, I felt so much pride for the artists and the NAC when I rang that bell at Small Feats (and it was fun and obnoxious) this year when a piece of work sold. I could go on and on about this question too.There have been so many memorable moments that I’ve been around for and I’m very grateful for those experiences.

What’s the number one reason to become a NAC member?

Aside from all the great programming, there is such a great community surrounding the NAC. As a NAC member, I can’t believe how much support I have received from the team there and everyone surrounding them – and I know that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

JoinNAC