Minister’s Maundering Preamble
Holy Crap, It’s Membership Month!

If information has become a type of terrorism, NAC is about to embark on our once-a-year  insurgency. June heralds our month-long membership drive. Many consecutive days of haranguing, urging you to pop open your purse, crack wide your wallet, and relinquish the digits on your credit card are awaiting you.

Typically, we’ve attempted to freshen this exercise with a lame gimmick. You may recall past efforts in this regard such as top ten lists, infotainment videos, and last year’s social media-driven meme-bership campaign. This year it’s Haikus! We ‘re going to bastardize this elegant poetic form until you beg for mercy and make a call on which one of these exciting membership tiers we’ll be signing you on at.

Artist / Art Enthusiast
A paltry $40, or half the price of a tank of gas for the car

• Subscription to The Bulletin, this periodic electronic newsletter that gives you the lowdown on the programming, members’ gallery shows, film screenings, parties, other ancillary events, and postings about what artist members are up to
• Discounted admission on select special events such as the STRUTT Wearable Art Fiasco
• Use of the Dennis Tourbin Members Gallery, NAC’s handsomely refinished exhibit and project space
• Use of NAC’s in-house production facilities and expansive tool library of art making equipment such as film, video, and digital and analogue cameras and sound equipment
• Voting privileges at the NAC Annual General Meeting – help steer the ship, find/fix the rudder, swab the poop deck, spot white whales, etc.

Students
A measly $35, or the price of the large pizza you’ve been ordering every third day

– Benefits of artist / art enthusiast membership excluding voting privileges.

• That’s it, you’re a student, your parents are doing all the coddling for us

Art Supporter
A meager $100, or the price of a pair of Beats by Dr. Dre headphones, the pathetic little ear-bud kind that will soon carry the cache of cool that fluorescently coloured Days of Thunder sunglasses now hold
– Benefits of Art Enthusiast membership PLUS:

• Recognition on NAC’s website, we’ll get you up there loudly and proudly for the world to see (possible censored exceptions include Burma, China, Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Vietnam)
• A $60 charitable tax receipt, practice the 100 mile tithe, spend your taxes locally
• Early invites to NAC special events like Small Feats, be a VIP and feel briefly how the other 1% lives

Art Patron
$240 – or a low-down $20 a month, a miniscule fraction of the satellite/cable bill that’s enabling reality TV to seep like poisonous gas into your living environment
– Benefits of Art Supporter membership PLUS:

• A $200 charitable tax receipt
• Guided tours of exhibitions (by request), if you don’t think the exhibit didn’t make any sense wait until someone from NAC tries explaining it to you

Champion
$300 – or 25 lousy bucks a month, akin to a monthly night at the movies watching redundant CGI explosion after redundant CGI explosion during the latest [insert superhero blockbuster here] – Benefits of Arts Patron membership plus:

• A $260 charitable tax receipt
• A limited edition print made with real NAC member sweat and toil
• A warm and fuzzy feeling redeemable all year long and that can be taken with you wherever you go

We’ll be sending reminder, uh, haikus, to all those who are due to renew. Call, stop by, email, visit the website,and pay with PayPal to sign up. And spread the word, see if you can snag one of those unsuspecting innocents out there and indoctrinate them in the faith.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

All memberships renewed in June are entered in a draw for a Special STRUTT Wearable Art Weekend package that includes a pair of Curator’s Row (front row seats) to the Saturday night runway show.

BUT WAIT THERE’S STILL MORE YET!

Board member Clelia Scala has been interviewing members unearthing reasons why NAC is now over 500 members strong! Check our latest NAC Member of the Moment !

Join now, join often!

overnout
S.

Stephen Remus
Minister of Energy, Minds, and Resources